I have been writing this post in my head for weeks now….but as the chaos around us has continued the post has grown in my head and the likelihood of it getting it on ‘paper’ even further removed…. Then I read a new blog post by pinkcandiapple and then I just considered deleting the whole bloody thing! It did put my troubles into perspective and also yet again makes me realist than when you are riding the storm it just seems so much worse than when you’re sitting on the outskirts watching it in the distance….
I’m happy to say (although I’m scared to jinx it) that we may be on our way of the storm…. For now at least and hopefully it’ll stay that way!!!
So let’s rewind 3 weeks…. And I promise not to waffle, more because I don’t have the energy but also no one really want to hear about someone else’s kak…. But nevertheless it’s our chaotic story so it needs to be told if no other reason than continuity!
So rewind with me wont you…..
The Kat is finally discharged from hospital, we survive the full week back at work and sadly Daddy Abs’s folks leave to go back home on the Saturday. It was so divine that week to come home to a smiley baby who had slept and eaten well and I knew was looked after the way I would’ve…… I’m still working on the inlaws retiring in Durban!! 🙂
Then Tuesday early hours of the morning I happen to check my phone after a feed to see an SMS from my good friend to tell me her little one (Daniels girlfriend) is in hospital!!!!! I don’t sleep for the rest of the night! By Thursday they have diagnosed it as H1N1 aka swine flu and Daniel is running a temp and dad is sick as a dog and both are at home. I didn’t think he had swine flu but he was definitely fighting something and daddy Abs was also really not well. I had to work of course having been off the week before, and I was also petrified that Kat was going to get it…… That weekend was not pretty….
It becomes really apparent really quickly that we need full time help at home and so I begin the search for a full time nanny. Enter Nanny #2 ( remember first nanny was fired for falling asleep with Kat on her lap and nearly dropping her…all of this 4 days before I was due to go back to work!!!!)
Nanny 2 seems lovely until day 3 when I realise she cannot follow instructions at all. It was fine until I realised she was washing 5 bundles of washing a day and I told her not to ( so she HAND washed them—- cos that’s different right???) the final straw was when she polished half a kg of biltong off in the week she worked for us, that was after destroying a beautiful piece of meat for our dinner by turning it into inedible biltong…..
Nanny 3 started this week and she too seems lovely. I have been really hard with her and I think the poor girl is scared of me but she’s an incredibly hard worker and seems switched on. I really hope she works out and I’m taking it really slow with her. I’m not letting fetch the ginger from school yet or cook for us. I want to know that the time I’m investing in her is worth it.
So fingers crossed….I really hope she’ll be the one to become part of our family.
On top of the past three weeks we’ve had the builders back in the house ‘fixing’ snags. I say ‘fixing’ because some of the snags are actually worse now. My builder who built our house is working on a big project so he sent his apprentice up who basically botched everything and so he’s back in the flesh next week to fix everything. The big work and hopefully the dust is over and hopefully in another week or so we can return to normal.
I really hope so cos we have Kats baptism in three weeks and having about 40 people over so the house needs to look spic and span.
I’ve been having a few tough weeks emotionally as well. Looks it’s not been an easy few weeks. Daddy Abs is working his A off and as a result I’m single parenting a bit again. I seem to have found my mojo on that front though and Kat being a little older is making it easier. I’m battling though with how quickly they are growing and how much I’m missing out. I saw the ginger swim on his own for the first time last week….via video from a mom who got to witness it first-hand. VIA VIDEO!!! It’s ok to say: Oh the first time I see it in person will my first time because it doesn’t cut it. It’s really becoming apparent that I need to find something to do on my own…..but what and how do I place my family under more financial strain to start a business…..all things going through my tiny little head.
Also I WANT to be there for every little thing and I don’t expect people to get that I want to be there for EVERYTHING. For example Kat started solids two weeks ago and we started on rice cereal so over the weekend I started Butternut. Today I had to give creche sweet potato to try her on because I don’t want to try something at night for the first time. So I missed out on her face when she tries a new food for the first time. And it hurts….sounds stupid I know….but hurts nevertheless.
But you know what God never once says be afraid I’m not going to handle this for you. Instead he promise to hold our hands and I do believe that there are only good things ahead for us.
You have to just look at my two beautiful children to know this is true.