I REALLY should be working…..I really should…….There is just so much going on at the moment that I’m feeling a little lost. I’m not in a really good space but also not in any position to change it……
It’s a whole host of things but most of it stems from my weight….which if I’m honest has always been a problem, except for when I ran comrades (NOTE: Was exercising) I’m as fat as ten pigs (yes yes so I’m still a 34…well parts of me) but for me I’m carrying 10kgs extra and I am not getting to the gym or any form of exercise for that fact. I’m working LONG hours and as a result the last thing I feel like after getting to bed post-midnight is exercising. Go during the day you may say, you work for yourself…. Can’t do that cos my day is already, halved due to Ginger being home, hence me having to work late hours…tis a vicious circle really.
And I tried banting for a good 3 weeks. Some will say that I didn’t give it a good go but believe you me I tried. Not a piece of fruit touched my lips, let alone any yoghurt and I lost barely anything. Plus I FELT AWFUL. So I’m back to just watching my eating. But that doesn’t help. I don’t have the time to sit and weigh portions or put together meal plans on only 3 hours sleep.
And then there’s coming to terms with the fact that I no longer have my sh”£!t together. I always had it together. Now I have an endless list of things that need to be done and that I NEVER get to. I’m now that mom that is always doing things for Daniel and school on the last day its due. I hardly ever make my husband lunch and there are days when I get to 5pm and haven’t even thought about supper! I used to be a once a month shopper and now I am permanently at the shops and it irritates the living hell out of me, but I inevitably forget something everytime I go…..
Basically I seem to be spinning in circles and not going anywhere fast.
I feel so stretched thin where everyone just wants a piece of me and I just always come last in everything….. and to be quite honest there are days where I just wish I could book into a hotel or spa for 24hrs ,switch off my phone and not say a word to anyone!!!
Not really wanting a pity party, just kinda of figured regurgitating my thoughts here would maybe make a little sense out of it all.
Started the week with great intentions. Was going to GO TO GYM…..its now Tuesday…still hasnt happened….
I am let to believe it’s a phase in ones life and this too shall pass…..