My dad is dying. It’s nothing ‘new’ We’ve lived this for 3 years but today after a really bad night last night we got him a script for morphine……his kidneys are starting to fail…..I’m not ready. I’m not big enough and yet I know that I have to let him go.

He has lived a long and happy life and these last 3 years post his stroke he is largely been really happy and content. And whilst we’ve been preparing ourselves for this moment now that it’s upon us I can’t breathe! I don’t know how to let him go. I don’t know how I’m going to be in his home without him.

And I don’t know how to watch this suffering and pain. I just pray that God hears our prayers and takes him with little suffering.

Tomorrow we will do communion with him. I pray then that the Lord will take him to a place where there will be no more pain. I know this is the circle of life but shoeh it hurts.