I’m really grappling in the light of a New year and new resolutions to be better and do better, be more positive. I’m however battling with the action part and how I’m supposed to portray this.
I met a friend from church on the beach last weekend and she asked me how was your Christmas and I really was torn as how to reply. (My Christmas was shit and by shit I mean really shit) but I didn’t know if I should give the whole version or In light of said New Years to smile and say: ‘fine thank you’
I’m finished I’m depleted. And I’m so depleted that i can’t even explain to anyone, and quite frankly no one could possibly get it. So I wonder why I bother.
My Christmas in a nutshell (whilst permeated by really good moments) was marred by my dad having several seizures, him falling and me mopping his blood off the walls and then getting his head stitched up on Christmas Eve, then my son getting locked in the boot of a car on Christmas Day for 40min (please don’t judge this or even ask!!) BUT WAIT THERES MORE!! And then finally getting onto our camping trip where my son proceeded to vomit and it proceeded to rain for 3 days.
All while this was happening I was dealing with clients ( yip so my shutdown didn’t happen! ) and then last weekend Kieks slammed into the corner of a table and is sporting a giant black eye!!
So I dusted off and started the new week. Made it two days and then my maid got a tummy bug so I ended up juggling the kids and trying to work… first week back and its back to the same old kak. No support and trying to manage a thriving business but also being full time Mom!
Ive been saying this for ages now…This year has got to be different. I can’t keep spreading myself thinner than margarine spread, and I’m so tired of the same old story I spin…..there have got to be some changes and the load has got to get lighter for me….Does that mean I take my foot off the gas with Marketing Works? I don’t really know. I just know I can’t keep on.
One thing I do know is that for 2018 I’m going to be choosing the #imfinethankyou route. Not because I don’t want to share with people what’s really happening in my life but to be honest no one cares about my problems or troubles, for everyone is fighting their own battles and demons. And I’m hoping with a more positive outlook on life and my situation that I may start to see some way forward…. here’s hoping.
Ok rant over!!