It’s been a shitty shitty bang bang two weeks. I wanna cry but I’m actually too emotionally stuffed to do so!
So I hired a new lady at work and she just didn’t work out. In fact I ended up paying the hugest school fees to date and today I ended it.
Nevermind the monetary cost…. I feel bruised like I’ve been in a war and oh let’s not mention the kids that have been affected. Receptive little buggers they are, and they have fed off me like leeches and the result…. Wingy clingy little people. And I feel Kak because I don’t have the energy to be there for them….
And I wanna run, whilst crying and wailing and screaming…. I wanna run and crawl into a hole and JUST FOR A FRIKKIN SECOND FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF and cry about how I suck as a mother, wife, business owner. BUT you see I do not get that. I don’t get that privilege as all of the above titles. So I’m in bed , writing this crappy post about how alone I feel, how unsupported and alone I am. Then I’ll post, and sleep, wake up tomorrow at 3am, dust off and begin again. Cos that’s what we do.
And tomorrow I’ll continue to trust as I have before but somewhat wavered recently….